Holiday
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
Hey
I’m not really sure why I’m writing this as I know it’s impossible for anyone to have the answers .
But we have a big family holiday booked in July (first time of going abroad for 15years we are going to Majorca )I’m terrified of flying) but splashed out on great hotel …my son said he really wanted to come along with our daughter .
But since booking it last year his addiction to weed got worse (to everyday 5/7 times a day .
He is seeking help and had councilling and has cut back (sometimes I can see this ,but he has become very clever at lies and I know the signs it’s been going on many years .
But my concern is how the hell is he going to go without weed for 10 days if he can’t go without it for a day ?
Leading to what sort of holiday will we have if he can’t have it out there.
Is it possible he will be okay )I think I know the answer to that ) I just don’t know what to do cancel holiday (let everyone down) Go hope for best and try to hide this fear and cope for 10 days trying to keep everyone happy as always …
I hate this addiction and feel I have had all o can take I just don’t know what to do .
I know we have 4 months yet but I feel he isn’t being honest with anyone and is also adhd undiagnosed which isn’t helping as he thinks he will be fine without it on holiday …if that’s the case why do you need it now then 💁🏼
I’m not really sure why I’m writing this as I know it’s impossible for anyone to have the answers .
But we have a big family holiday booked in July (first time of going abroad for 15years we are going to Majorca )I’m terrified of flying) but splashed out on great hotel …my son said he really wanted to come along with our daughter .
But since booking it last year his addiction to weed got worse (to everyday 5/7 times a day .
He is seeking help and had councilling and has cut back (sometimes I can see this ,but he has become very clever at lies and I know the signs it’s been going on many years .
But my concern is how the hell is he going to go without weed for 10 days if he can’t go without it for a day ?
Leading to what sort of holiday will we have if he can’t have it out there.
Is it possible he will be okay )I think I know the answer to that ) I just don’t know what to do cancel holiday (let everyone down) Go hope for best and try to hide this fear and cope for 10 days trying to keep everyone happy as always …
I hate this addiction and feel I have had all o can take I just don’t know what to do .
I know we have 4 months yet but I feel he isn’t being honest with anyone and is also adhd undiagnosed which isn’t helping as he thinks he will be fine without it on holiday …if that’s the case why do you need it now then 💁🏼
1 reaction
1 reply
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Sorry you’re having to deal with this ahead of your holiday, Kat. It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. 🙁
I think it’s very important that you and your family do go on this holiday, and do make sure you’re set up to have a nice time, but it sounds like your son might not be in the right place to be able to go with you.
Based on the fact he’s been making an effort to cut back, and has had some counselling, it sounds like he knows there’s a problem there. I think it could be worth sitting him down and having an honest conversation about the holiday.
Make it clear that you love him, and you want him there sober, but also that you don’t want him to come as he is right now because it’s going to ruin the holiday for everyone else.
Have this conversation now, and have further check-ins on the lead up to the holiday. He needs to know that as things stand he’s not going, and he needs to know it’s his responsibility to make you comfortable enough having him around in order for you to change your mind. Be clear with him on his progress towards this over the next few months.
He probably won’t like it, but taking him on holiday knowing it’s likely to be a disaster is not doing him any favours. It’ll just make him feel more guilty and anxious, and drive him further into his addiction.
My situation was a little different (mother/alcohol), but when she was drinking, every holiday we took her on was an unmitigated disaster - we all would have been much happier at home.
Hope that’s of some help. Again, really sorry you’re dealing with this. As a fellow anxious flyer I know the lead-up to a flight you’re dreading can be a little rubbish as the best of times! 💙
I think it’s very important that you and your family do go on this holiday, and do make sure you’re set up to have a nice time, but it sounds like your son might not be in the right place to be able to go with you.
Based on the fact he’s been making an effort to cut back, and has had some counselling, it sounds like he knows there’s a problem there. I think it could be worth sitting him down and having an honest conversation about the holiday.
Make it clear that you love him, and you want him there sober, but also that you don’t want him to come as he is right now because it’s going to ruin the holiday for everyone else.
Have this conversation now, and have further check-ins on the lead up to the holiday. He needs to know that as things stand he’s not going, and he needs to know it’s his responsibility to make you comfortable enough having him around in order for you to change your mind. Be clear with him on his progress towards this over the next few months.
He probably won’t like it, but taking him on holiday knowing it’s likely to be a disaster is not doing him any favours. It’ll just make him feel more guilty and anxious, and drive him further into his addiction.
My situation was a little different (mother/alcohol), but when she was drinking, every holiday we took her on was an unmitigated disaster - we all would have been much happier at home.
Hope that’s of some help. Again, really sorry you’re dealing with this. As a fellow anxious flyer I know the lead-up to a flight you’re dreading can be a little rubbish as the best of times! 💙