Is this support or enabling
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
My AD is an alcoholic 39 she has been for about 15 years now - I’ve paid for rehab here and in Thailand but relapsed over and over. She is on benefits and I pay the mortgage on her flat and for private therapy. I have power of attorney and manage her money. I pay bills and give her weekly allowance to spend as she pleases. (This is from her benefit of £850pm). She has now a boyfriend who is also alcoholic and has introduced her to cannabis. She says she doesn’t want to be an alcoholic but the weed helps. I have boundaries don’t call if you’re drunk and I will not give her money if it runs out. Now she is asking me to pay for munjaro. I already feel I am controlling her life and want her to get on with it. Last time I did that she drank her whole benefits and ended up in hospital fitting. She asked me to control the money again - I just think I’m not helping her move forward. Any advice please.
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6 replies
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
I am not the person to give you advice because I did similar. I bought my adult Alcoholic so with mental health . Food , cloths , bedding, cleaned his flat while he slept ( because he was living in a mess ) He can earn really good money when he works and hold a job down but that is getting less and less . He asked us for 4k this week so we gave him an ultimatum, you go to AA regularly, a mental health group recommended my a friend and go to doctors for help to stop drinking. Nothing has changed every time we called him he was drunk so absolutely no money from us
You may say this is cruel but we need to make a stand . There is help out there and if as an adult he chooses not to take it I can’t prop this up any longer. I wish you all the best but this road we travel is really not what any of us wanted and we all deal with it differently. 💕
You may say this is cruel but we need to make a stand . There is help out there and if as an adult he chooses not to take it I can’t prop this up any longer. I wish you all the best but this road we travel is really not what any of us wanted and we all deal with it differently. 💕
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cocaine addictions
Its so hard knowing what is best to do 😢
I don’t know why she might be asking about mounjaro but I have heard that for some people it not only suppresses appetite but also makes them less interested in alcohol. As I say not sure why she is asking for it but maybe she has heard the same?
Sending you strength xx
I don’t know why she might be asking about mounjaro but I have heard that for some people it not only suppresses appetite but also makes them less interested in alcohol. As I say not sure why she is asking for it but maybe she has heard the same?
Sending you strength xx
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
She says Mounjaro will help with the alcohol addiction- part of me thinks great that maybe it will help and she really does want to change another part is saying she just wants and easy fix - and there isn’t one - she makes all the right noises but doesn’t follow through. I just don’t know what to do
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
It’s really hard to know what’s enabling and what’s support in these situations!
Paying her mortgage will help to keep her safe, but also allows her to continue in her behaviour in a way she probably couldn’t otherwise. I think the same is true for a lot of support - there’s often a little bit of enablement mixed in with it that’s hard to avoid without being very controlling.
I’ve heard Mounjaro can help with addiction cravings, but I don’t think it’s going to solve whatever is making her feel like she needs to drink/smoke weed in order to cope with life. With my mum, figuring that bit out was key to her stopping.
Assuming the £850/month is pure allowance, can’t she pay for Mounjaro from that, or does she have other financial commitments that mean it wouldn’t stretch that far?
Really sorry you’re having to deal with this. It’s such a difficult situation to navigate! 😔
Paying her mortgage will help to keep her safe, but also allows her to continue in her behaviour in a way she probably couldn’t otherwise. I think the same is true for a lot of support - there’s often a little bit of enablement mixed in with it that’s hard to avoid without being very controlling.
I’ve heard Mounjaro can help with addiction cravings, but I don’t think it’s going to solve whatever is making her feel like she needs to drink/smoke weed in order to cope with life. With my mum, figuring that bit out was key to her stopping.
Assuming the £850/month is pure allowance, can’t she pay for Mounjaro from that, or does she have other financial commitments that mean it wouldn’t stretch that far?
Really sorry you’re having to deal with this. It’s such a difficult situation to navigate! 😔
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
Hi everyone- thank you for listening - she has lots of debt, credit cards and loans plus a court fine for DUI so her 850 has to pay these what’s left is for her food or drink/weed she has to choose what she spends it on. I won’t top her up. The arrangement around the mortgage and counselling is that she helps me with some admin stuff for my business and she seems to enjoy doing this when she able she says it gives purpose a confidence. She is highly intelligent and skilled and has been reading about how GPL1 inhibitors especially Ozempic have had great results with alcohol addiction she says she wants to try it. GP won’t help she has to go private route. I just don’t know if paying for this will help or hinder. I don’t want to enable but I won’t have her on the street either my red line. 🤷♀️
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Why does she need Mournjaro? Also why haven’t the hospital kept her in to give her support somewhere?