It’s Over
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
I wrote a few months ago saying that my friend was in rehab and I had to respect his boundaries but it was hurtful as we had been so close. He’s about to complete 10 weeks detox programme and will start work next week. We’ve tried to communicate but it’s not working. I’ve never really know him sober and to be quite honest he comes over as arrogant and uncaring. I haven’t changed and I don’t think he feels the same about our friendship. Whilst I understand that it’s ’all About him’ I find the curt side of him quite upsetting after years of supporting him. Yes I drink but I would never drink in front of him. I do realise o could be. Trigger so we haven’t met ‘face to face’. Awkward ad we are neighbours. Twice he’s asked me to go the pub and of course I’ve refused. Sobriety seems very lonely to me even if it is the right thing to do. No one has been able to give me advice here. How can a sober person be friends with someone he used to drink with (not an alcoholic) who won’t drink but the connection is in the back of his head. I’m heartbroken but if I never see him again, his health is the most important thing
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Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
That is really hard and hurtful. By the sounds of it he sounds selfish and arrogant. Maybe you do remind him of his drinking days BUT out of respect he should tell you face to face. Sounds like you put more into that friendship than he did. Sounds like he used you. Or maybe it’s just a reminder of his drinking days. I’ve been used for years from people I thought were friends. As hard as it is you have to try get on with your life. Take care
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Sorry you’re dealing with this, it sounds like a really difficult situation!
You mentioned you think he doesn’t feel the same about your relationship as he once did, and that you don’t really like his character now he’s sober. Maybe that you and he don’t actually get on when he’s sober?
It’s tough, but you can still care for, support, and be good friends to one another while also making a mutual decision that you’re not going to spend much time together now he’s off the drink. 😢
You mentioned you think he doesn’t feel the same about your relationship as he once did, and that you don’t really like his character now he’s sober. Maybe that you and he don’t actually get on when he’s sober?
It’s tough, but you can still care for, support, and be good friends to one another while also making a mutual decision that you’re not going to spend much time together now he’s off the drink. 😢
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Thank you. He’s tried to keep in touch. Suggesting the pub twice although he’s sober. I said no of course. Unfortunately the sober him thinks I was lying about how bad he was before. Memory loss etc. I had to resuscitate him and make sure he didn’t starve himself but of course it’s all a blur to him. I understand detox gave him good advice but he was told to stay away from me
He was the one who rang me etc but to be honest, he doesn’t know me with a sober head on so he thinks everything I say is a criticism. I’ve given up. After many years and especially the last two almost daily contact, I haven’t seen him now for 3 months. I’m grieving. I o may know how he’s getting on as he’s also a friend with my hubby who texts him occasional. He’s still
Sober and will be starting work soon. Although he is very lonely I know without me, he would never have got this far. Would o go through all that grief again , never. He was my best friend but I’m done. Sometimes sobriety has a heavy cost
He was the one who rang me etc but to be honest, he doesn’t know me with a sober head on so he thinks everything I say is a criticism. I’ve given up. After many years and especially the last two almost daily contact, I haven’t seen him now for 3 months. I’m grieving. I o may know how he’s getting on as he’s also a friend with my hubby who texts him occasional. He’s still
Sober and will be starting work soon. Although he is very lonely I know without me, he would never have got this far. Would o go through all that grief again , never. He was my best friend but I’m done. Sometimes sobriety has a heavy cost