How to stop worrying
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
My person is 2 weeks sober. Absolutely knows and admits what alcohol has done to his life and our life. Never lies and is completely transparent. I know, in my heart, that he will relapse soon, for various reasons. I know. I always do. I know that I must have boundaries. I know I can't help or love him better, I know I must think of myself and my wasted life. I know all the things. I just don't know how to. I start worrying, start dreading, start feeling anxious. I just can't help it. I do breathing exercises, watch my words, all the right things but I am a nervous wreck and any tips to start relaxing will be gratefully received. I am an anxious mess. Thank you.
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3 replies
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
My heart goes out to you . My son lapsed after 4 weeks so I know what you are going through. I drove myself mad during those 4 weeks . Every call I made or took from him I was listening for him slurring and asking him if he was drinking. I praised him told him how much I loved him daily but underneath it I just I wanted to trust him but a part of me didn’t and I was right after 4 weeks he started drinking again , lost his job and was vile to me again.
Living with an alcoholic in the family is a life long sentence. I just wish that our love alone would be enough but sadly it’s not.
You have my heart felt hope that your person stays sober 💕
Living with an alcoholic in the family is a life long sentence. I just wish that our love alone would be enough but sadly it’s not.
You have my heart felt hope that your person stays sober 💕
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
So sorry you’re going through this. I know first-hand how much worrying can affect your life aside from the actual drinking itself! 😢
With my mum, I found that over time I began to manage the worry by learning to internally accept that I had very little control over what was happening, and that I needed to make peace with the fact that my worst fears might come true every time she left the house.
It didn’t stop me trying to support and encourage my mum towards recovery, and it didn’t remove the worry altogether, but it did allow me to keep it from taking over my life.
I hope this doesn’t come across as "just don’t think about it" or "just don’t worry" advice. It’s more than that. Internal acceptance will have no effect on the outcome every time your loved one drinks, but it has a very big positive effect allowing you to continue to live your life in a tolerable way.
Fingers crossed for you. 🤞Send me a connection request if you want to chat.
With my mum, I found that over time I began to manage the worry by learning to internally accept that I had very little control over what was happening, and that I needed to make peace with the fact that my worst fears might come true every time she left the house.
It didn’t stop me trying to support and encourage my mum towards recovery, and it didn’t remove the worry altogether, but it did allow me to keep it from taking over my life.
I hope this doesn’t come across as "just don’t think about it" or "just don’t worry" advice. It’s more than that. Internal acceptance will have no effect on the outcome every time your loved one drinks, but it has a very big positive effect allowing you to continue to live your life in a tolerable way.
Fingers crossed for you. 🤞Send me a connection request if you want to chat.
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Thank you. It didn't come across negative at all. I need to detach with love but I'm struggling to. I know what I need to do, just hard to do so with someone you're very much in love with. People who have managed it, like yourself, are an inspiration and I want to do it for myself and my sanity. Thank you.