Debt !
Somebody supporting another with cocaine addiction
So my AS, has a cocaine addiction , has lost his job and he has debt up to his eyeballs, he keeps getting letters but won’t discuss a way forward , stays away from home so he doesn’t get “lectured” about it . We want to help him but he says we want to control him .We have paid some off in the past but we won’t pay anymore , anyone been in the same position, any advice much appreciated ??
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Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cocaine addictions
Hi Trixy, yes we have experience of this first hand with our AS (now 24y), coke addiction and debt. We too paid out probably thousands over previous three years (mixture of debt/fines racked up plus other things).
We tried all sorts but as soon as he had money he blew it immediately never prioritising bills or monthly direct debits. I tried to get him to go onto this site - https://www.stepchange.org (which you might find helpful) but don’t think he ever looked & we ended up paying off things :(
Fast forward to this year (after a very traumatic/ rock bottom year - couldn’t have got worse really) - he has now accepted he has problems and wants to change and is in recovery. Before this year he would not even discuss it - now he wants to sort things. He is now happy to give us his money to caretake and we just give him what he needs for essentials but it took ages to get to this. I think they have to recognise they have a problem, want to do something about it and then accept advice/help.
He knows he doesn’t have an ‘off button’ when it comes to a lot of things- alcohol, drugs, spending money. He is open to trying medication to moderate things (finally has his formal clinical assessment for ADHD imminently so also hoping that helps).
Unsure if this helps but wanted to know you are not alone - I read your post and thought that could have been me writing that in past years x
We tried all sorts but as soon as he had money he blew it immediately never prioritising bills or monthly direct debits. I tried to get him to go onto this site - https://www.stepchange.org (which you might find helpful) but don’t think he ever looked & we ended up paying off things :(
Fast forward to this year (after a very traumatic/ rock bottom year - couldn’t have got worse really) - he has now accepted he has problems and wants to change and is in recovery. Before this year he would not even discuss it - now he wants to sort things. He is now happy to give us his money to caretake and we just give him what he needs for essentials but it took ages to get to this. I think they have to recognise they have a problem, want to do something about it and then accept advice/help.
He knows he doesn’t have an ‘off button’ when it comes to a lot of things- alcohol, drugs, spending money. He is open to trying medication to moderate things (finally has his formal clinical assessment for ADHD imminently so also hoping that helps).
Unsure if this helps but wanted to know you are not alone - I read your post and thought that could have been me writing that in past years x
Somebody supporting another with cocaine addiction
Hi we had this problem with our son and we encouraged him to get in IVA which is way all the debts can be lumped together and reduced - a bit like a bankruptcy arrangement (but it meant a lot of the debt which is interest can be written off) this is available in the UK . It helped our son get his debt under control and might be worth looking into.
Somebody supporting another with cocaine addiction
Thank you , I will look into that ☺️
Somebody supporting another with alcohol, cocaine, and gambling addictions
Hi . We have payed my son’s debts for years . I realise we were enabling him
. He phoned me yesterday asking for money and when I said I don’t have it just got a mouth full of abuse . Been in tears since . Will definitely not give him anymore .
. He phoned me yesterday asking for money and when I said I don’t have it just got a mouth full of abuse . Been in tears since . Will definitely not give him anymore .