Exhausted and so low
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Hey all
I don’t even know where to begin. My other half is an alcoholic and after a breakdown 6.5 years ago, it all got worse.
He’s always liked drink and would have between 2-5 cans depending on the night. It’s just never sat right with me.
Anyway, he had a breakdown and turned to vodka. He’s had 2 rehab stints, been lost and had police helicopter find him. I could write a book.
He gets weird episodes like where he goes hyper and then acts wired, swears, can’t cope and crashes out snoring. He almost always craves or drinks that day or following.
Getting a mental health assessment doesn’t happen as he drinks. Then when they call back, he’s been sober and say he’s ok. Sick and tired of it all.
He breaks my heart when he’s struggling and crying about it, but I’m on my last nerve. I’m so physically and emotionally tired
I don’t even know where to begin. My other half is an alcoholic and after a breakdown 6.5 years ago, it all got worse.
He’s always liked drink and would have between 2-5 cans depending on the night. It’s just never sat right with me.
Anyway, he had a breakdown and turned to vodka. He’s had 2 rehab stints, been lost and had police helicopter find him. I could write a book.
He gets weird episodes like where he goes hyper and then acts wired, swears, can’t cope and crashes out snoring. He almost always craves or drinks that day or following.
Getting a mental health assessment doesn’t happen as he drinks. Then when they call back, he’s been sober and say he’s ok. Sick and tired of it all.
He breaks my heart when he’s struggling and crying about it, but I’m on my last nerve. I’m so physically and emotionally tired
2 reactions
4 replies
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Buttercup0. I know from experience how emotionally exhausting it is! 😢
My mum also had those weird episodes where she’d suddenly fall asleep, usually after something upset her, stressed her, or made her angry. It’s distressing, but it’s a common phenomenon with alcohol abuse.
When someone who struggles with alcohol addiction becomes very angry or emotionally overwhelmed, their nervous system can go into overdrive and then quickly “shut down” as a kind of self-protection. Alcohol changes how the brain regulates stress, so a surge of adrenaline and distress is followed by a strong sedating rebound (from chemicals that promote calm and sleep), and because alcohol already depresses the brain and disrupts blood sugar and blood pressure, that rebound can feel like an irresistible wave of exhaustion, leading them to fall asleep suddenly. This isn’t intentional or dismissive, but an stress-induced physiological crash that their body uses to escape feeling unsafe or overloaded.
I don’t know if that’s of much help, but I thought it might be useful to know it is a normal response to an abnormal situation. His body is just protecting itself.
More generally, it sounds like he does want to get better, but for whatever reason feels like he can’t cope with life when sober. Do you know what triggered his initial nervous breakdown, and is he still on the antidepressants you mentioned in your profile?
My mum also had those weird episodes where she’d suddenly fall asleep, usually after something upset her, stressed her, or made her angry. It’s distressing, but it’s a common phenomenon with alcohol abuse.
When someone who struggles with alcohol addiction becomes very angry or emotionally overwhelmed, their nervous system can go into overdrive and then quickly “shut down” as a kind of self-protection. Alcohol changes how the brain regulates stress, so a surge of adrenaline and distress is followed by a strong sedating rebound (from chemicals that promote calm and sleep), and because alcohol already depresses the brain and disrupts blood sugar and blood pressure, that rebound can feel like an irresistible wave of exhaustion, leading them to fall asleep suddenly. This isn’t intentional or dismissive, but an stress-induced physiological crash that their body uses to escape feeling unsafe or overloaded.
I don’t know if that’s of much help, but I thought it might be useful to know it is a normal response to an abnormal situation. His body is just protecting itself.
More generally, it sounds like he does want to get better, but for whatever reason feels like he can’t cope with life when sober. Do you know what triggered his initial nervous breakdown, and is he still on the antidepressants you mentioned in your profile?
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
Thanks for explaining that to me. It helps.
He’s never really coped well with stress and his reactions to say for example a spilt tea would be like the end of the world at times.
His breakdown was through work stress. He was doing the work of 2, and having many phone calls a day to sort various work sites out and employees. He broke down one night before work. He’s on mirtazapine still.
In rehab, he had therapy and he said it was likely it was due to the deaths he had in his family plus work
He’s never really coped well with stress and his reactions to say for example a spilt tea would be like the end of the world at times.
His breakdown was through work stress. He was doing the work of 2, and having many phone calls a day to sort various work sites out and employees. He broke down one night before work. He’s on mirtazapine still.
In rehab, he had therapy and he said it was likely it was due to the deaths he had in his family plus work
Somebody supporting another with alcohol, cannabis, and prescription opiods addictions
I feel for you, I really do. They don't call it the family disease for nothing!
My son also has mental health problems along with adhd and can't get any help for it because of his drinking. How can they be so stupid?! Both go together so to tell someone with mental health to stop drinking before they can get help is beyond me as they go together. I spoke to a drinks councillor with my son and she said the same. She said by the time they get to them, CGL, they are too far gone! The help out there is abominable and it's no wonder there are so many people suffering. Sorry for this rant but my son has come across this time after time. I'm always here for you anytime you need to chat. X
My son also has mental health problems along with adhd and can't get any help for it because of his drinking. How can they be so stupid?! Both go together so to tell someone with mental health to stop drinking before they can get help is beyond me as they go together. I spoke to a drinks councillor with my son and she said the same. She said by the time they get to them, CGL, they are too far gone! The help out there is abominable and it's no wonder there are so many people suffering. Sorry for this rant but my son has come across this time after time. I'm always here for you anytime you need to chat. X
Somebody supporting another with alcohol addiction
It’s awful isn’t it. You just feel so helpless and go from anger, to pure tears.
Sending you hugs too and here for a chat x
Sending you hugs too and here for a chat x