Advise needed
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
Hey ,
Last week my son was caught stealing money to buy weed ….we confronted him and there was lots of tears from both sides ,he agreed he needed help and we are wheels in motion .
He has been chatting to us and saying that he has cut down and now only smoking one a day instead of 4/5 (in my head I wanted to believe him ) but in my heart I knew I didn’t ….i know the signs and for someone who was coming off a weed addiction he was way to up .
But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (although I knew in my heart things weren’t adding up!)
He went off to golf this morning with my husband and on the way said ….dont go in my bedroom it’s a mess I will tidy it later as it will give me something to do.
This was a red flag and as bad as I feel (I feel sick to my stomach ) I did go in there only to see the weed on his side and papers .
Now he had given us the weed to look after last week and said I want to cut back to one a day can you keep it so I’m not tempted and I will have it if a night before bed (his idea not our)
But now he has more ,and lied again (I can’t believe a word his says (so has he got in touch with people to help ,does he want to come off it ,nothing that he says I believe )
This is having such a great impact on me and I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I can’t help him (it has to come from him ) and I did go in his room when asked not to (which makes me feel bad as I really do t want to be snooping around his stuff(tbf I didn’t have to it was laying on his bed in plain sight)
Don’t know how to approach this at all my head has gone and I feel sick ….any advise I would be so grateful for ….do I call him out or leave it knowing/thinking everything he says is a lie …..if I call him how do I do it ….if I don’t how do I live with his lies ?
We pay £340 therapy for him a month (which I struggle with when if he lies to them is making no difference …..I’m totally at a loss and feel tearful ,sick ,numb and just want this situation to be over or at least on the road to being over ….
Feeling helpless …I know the right thing is to turn my back walk away …but he is my son (who is a lovely lad and so kind and caring really he is under normal circumstances but his love for weed has taken that away )
What do I do ?
Last week my son was caught stealing money to buy weed ….we confronted him and there was lots of tears from both sides ,he agreed he needed help and we are wheels in motion .
He has been chatting to us and saying that he has cut down and now only smoking one a day instead of 4/5 (in my head I wanted to believe him ) but in my heart I knew I didn’t ….i know the signs and for someone who was coming off a weed addiction he was way to up .
But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (although I knew in my heart things weren’t adding up!)
He went off to golf this morning with my husband and on the way said ….dont go in my bedroom it’s a mess I will tidy it later as it will give me something to do.
This was a red flag and as bad as I feel (I feel sick to my stomach ) I did go in there only to see the weed on his side and papers .
Now he had given us the weed to look after last week and said I want to cut back to one a day can you keep it so I’m not tempted and I will have it if a night before bed (his idea not our)
But now he has more ,and lied again (I can’t believe a word his says (so has he got in touch with people to help ,does he want to come off it ,nothing that he says I believe )
This is having such a great impact on me and I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I can’t help him (it has to come from him ) and I did go in his room when asked not to (which makes me feel bad as I really do t want to be snooping around his stuff(tbf I didn’t have to it was laying on his bed in plain sight)
Don’t know how to approach this at all my head has gone and I feel sick ….any advise I would be so grateful for ….do I call him out or leave it knowing/thinking everything he says is a lie …..if I call him how do I do it ….if I don’t how do I live with his lies ?
We pay £340 therapy for him a month (which I struggle with when if he lies to them is making no difference …..I’m totally at a loss and feel tearful ,sick ,numb and just want this situation to be over or at least on the road to being over ….
Feeling helpless …I know the right thing is to turn my back walk away …but he is my son (who is a lovely lad and so kind and caring really he is under normal circumstances but his love for weed has taken that away )
What do I do ?
2 reactions
3 replies
Somebody supporting another with cannabis and ketamine addictions
Hello Kat, l am going through the same situation. It is heartbreaking as l feel my son has lost all his compassion and kindness. He is as cold as a stone. He started treating me like his enemy. I have loved him with all my heart, so l find it so difficult to cope…
I wish people can find a solution to all this unhappiness caused by drugs and addiction. God help us.
I wish people can find a solution to all this unhappiness caused by drugs and addiction. God help us.
Somebody supporting another with alcohol and cannabis addictions
Hey ,
I’m so sorry you are also going through this.
It’s so awful but knowing you’re not alone in some warped way helps (I wouldn’t wish this on anyone)
The thing is as a mum (parent ) we have a way of always being able to help in some way or another weather that be good advice ,but of med or just a hug and a tub of ice cream !!
This addiction (weed in our case) has a hold over him that is making him lie and be stone cold ….its so much bigger then me and I can’t help in ways that I want to …all we can do is be there through it all and say as strong as we can ….tiday I don’t feel strong at all Infact I feel my world is run by this addiction.
I have no energy and just can’t move feel numb to the pit of my tummy and constantly suck.
Thank you for answering I was praying there was someone on here that would have replied so truly sorry for what you are also going through and I hope you find peace soon.
I will try and recharge tonight and tomorrow is another day all we can do is pray it gets easier !!
I
I’m so sorry you are also going through this.
It’s so awful but knowing you’re not alone in some warped way helps (I wouldn’t wish this on anyone)
The thing is as a mum (parent ) we have a way of always being able to help in some way or another weather that be good advice ,but of med or just a hug and a tub of ice cream !!
This addiction (weed in our case) has a hold over him that is making him lie and be stone cold ….its so much bigger then me and I can’t help in ways that I want to …all we can do is be there through it all and say as strong as we can ….tiday I don’t feel strong at all Infact I feel my world is run by this addiction.
I have no energy and just can’t move feel numb to the pit of my tummy and constantly suck.
Thank you for answering I was praying there was someone on here that would have replied so truly sorry for what you are also going through and I hope you find peace soon.
I will try and recharge tonight and tomorrow is another day all we can do is pray it gets easier !!
I
Somebody supporting another with cannabis and ketamine addictions
Thank you for your kind words. I am having a really bad day, too.
Maybe the night will be kinder to us.
I wish you a peaceful and restful night.
Maybe the night will be kinder to us.
I wish you a peaceful and restful night.